


Remember Me

by Notmarysue



Category: Black Friday - Team StarKid
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Memories, Memory Loss, One Shot, P.I.E.P, PIEP - Freeform, Psychological Trauma, The Black and White (Black Friday), Trauma, black and white
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:46:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26194360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Notmarysue/pseuds/Notmarysue
Summary: After three months, General John McNamara is finally rescued from the Black and White. Unfortunately, nobody who goes in there ever comes out the same.
Relationships: Xander Lee & John McNamara, Xander Lee/John McNamara
Comments: 8
Kudos: 30





	Remember Me

It took nearly three months to get John back from the Black and White. He hadn’t exactly been a priority as the threat of nuclear war hung over the globe. Thankfully, after sleepless nights of negotiation and some degree of desperate pleading, crisis was, for the most part, avoided. As it turned out, when push came to shove, President Howard Goodman could handle foreign policy after all. As the dust settled, Xander and Colonel Schaeffer had stood their ground. Something had to be done. In the end, Howard stepped in and overwrote any resistance. A week after the decision was made, John was finally out. He was cold and unconscious, but against all odds alive.

“Is he awake? Is he okay?” Xander asked Colonel Schaeffer insistently. It had been five days since they’d dragged John out of the portal and rushed him into the medical centre. While Schaeffer had been allowed to walk in and out freely, everyone seemed incredibly eager to keep Xander away. No matter how hard he tried, nobody would talk to him. He’d tried the doctors, the nurses, he’d even attempted to ambush the cleaning staff (which had almost ended in a write up), but every time he was ignored. Nobody wanted to tell him what was going on.

“Yes Xander, he’s awake, but there’s something I need to talk to you about. I think we should-“

“Can I see him?”

“I need you to wait for just a little longer.”

“I’m done with waiting. Let me through.” Xander scowled as he barged passed into John’s room.

“Xander, wait.” Schaeffer ordered, but she made little attempt to stop him. She knew it was no good. Instead, she followed him and lingered by the doorway.

John didn’t look too bad a man who’d been through Hell. He was paler, skinnier, and his eyes held a distant, sunken darkness of someone who’d seen far too much, but under it all it was still the same John he loved.

“Good morning.” John nodded firmly. He sat upright in his hospital bed, seemingly unbothered by the bright lights and beeping machines that echoed through the corridors. 

“Good morning yourself.” Xander smiled and sighed with relief as he ran up and enveloped John into a hug. John barely moved. He jumped a little at the sudden movement but appeared to show no other reaction. Xander tried not to think about it too hard. He’d been through a lot. He was probably just a little dazed. After a second or two of sitting completely rigid, John cleared his throat and awkwardly patted Xander on the back.

“Okay, a little forward there.”

“Forward?” Xander laughed nervous. He moved out of the hug but kept his hands firmly on John’s arms. It was the only way to be sure he was real. “Heck yeah I’m forward. I thought I’d never see you again. You cannot go running into danger like that. You nearly gave me a heart attack. If all this playing the hero doesn’t kill you it’s almost certainly going to kill me.”

“Right…” John said, gently pushing Xander’s hands off him. “I’m sorry, I don’t believe we’ve had the pleasure. My name is John McNamara, and you are?”

“John, what are you talking about? It’s me.” He laughed again, but all joy had been drained from it now. Instead there was only fear.

“Me? Weird name. Your parents hippies or something?” He asked.

“No, no John, it’s Xander. You know me. You-“ Xander turned to Schaeffer. “What’s wrong with him?”

“This is what I was trying to warn you about. Whatever happened to him in the Black and White, I don’t think all of him came back. He has ups and downs. On the ups it’s almost like nothing happened.” Schaeffer explained.

“And the downs?” He asked quietly.

“On the downs it’s like he has no idea where he is.”

“Nonsense, Helen. I’m perfectly fine. I know exactly where I am. PIEP HQ, medical centre, being surrounded by a bunch of people making a fuss over nothing. Now if you’re quite done with all this, I have to be going.” Said John as he staggered to his feet.

“He also does this quite a bit.” Schaeffer sighed. “John, please, you need to rest.”

“I told you, I’m fine.”

“Going? Going where?” Asked Xander as he moved himself to the edge of the bed.

“Training. The higher ups are testing this new portal thing. They want to see if we can send an object through that thing and then actually get it back again. But before they do, they want to brief us on what to do if there’s a containment breach, just in case the door goes both ways and whatever’s on the other side wants to come visiting.” John explained.

“I remember that training session. I think the general gest of the advice was ‘run’” Schaeffer added.

“What portal? Is he talking about the portal?” Asked Xander.

“Well I don’t see anyone trying to make any other portals.” Said John as he gathered his belongings from a nearby chair.

“Yes, Xander. He’s talking about that portal. He seems fixated on a certain time period. Specifically, November 2006.”

“Why then?” Xander prompted.

“November 2006 was the month preparations to explore the Black and White really got on the way. You’ve never seen anything quite like it. PIEP HQ had never been more alive. And this training exercise was what really cemented the idea of interdimensional travel into the minds of our superiors. The day John thinks it is, the 29th, the decision to send Wilbur Cross into the Black and White was finalised.” 

“Wilbur. I swear if I ever see that man again, I’ll kill him myself.”

“That’s no way to talk about a colonel, son. Wilbur is a good man and you should show him some respect.” John scowled. 

“Of course. Sorry, John.”

“It’s okay, son. I know you didn’t mean it. And since it’s only me and Schaeffer around to hear I’m sure you won’t get written up. But I’d be careful with your tone Mr…Mr…I’m sorry I just…I sort of blanked there. What’s your name again?” 

“Xander, John. My name is Xander.” Xander pleaded. 

“R-right, Xander. You’re Xander. I…I know you. I know-“ His knees buckled from beneath him and he dropped to the ground. Xander and Schaeffer rushed to his side, each grabbing an arm and helping him stagger to the edge of the bed. He sat back down and placed his head is hands. His face and lips were as white as a sheet as he sat there shaking.

“This is why I told you to rest, John.” Schaeffer said softly.

“Right. Sorry. Everything is just a little confusing right now.”

“I know. It’s okay.”

“Where…where am I? H-how did I get here?”

“John-“ Xander started.

“Who are you?”

“I’m…” His voice trailed off. He let out a deep sigh and started again, letting a softness fill his voice. “I’m Wilbur, John. Today is the 25th of July, 2006. The Black and White is still just a theory.”

“Black and White.” John muttered. “Why am I in the medical centre?”

“You…you had an accident in training today. You slipped, banged your head. That’s probably why you feel so confused right now.”

“I did?”

“Yes, John.”

“Oh…I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, John. You’re doing great. You’re the best I know. Everything is just fine. You’re safe now, John.”

“Safe.” John smiled tiredly. 

“Now get some rest. That’s an order.”

“Yes, Sir.” John yawned and rolled over. He was asleep within seconds. 

“I’m sorry, Xander. We tried everything we could before letting you in, but there’s nothing we can do.” Said Schaeffer as she placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “There were moments when we thought we were going to lose him entirely. It’s a miracle he’s alive at all.”

“He recognised me, Helen. It was just for a second, but he remembered. I know he remembered.” Xander insisted.

“Xander, please don’t get your hopes up. You saw how it was. It’s one step forward followed by two steps back. Has been since he woke up.”

“If I can just get him to hang onto my name. Just my name will do.”

“And then what will you do? What’s a name without the memories that go with it?”

Xander thought for a moment. He looked at the man fast asleep in the bed. The man who had fought harder than almost any other, the man whose secrets he’d harboured and whose nightmares he’d waded through. The man who he’d vowed never to give up on, for better or worse, in sickness and in health. 

“Six years ago, that man made me fall in love with him.” Xander said firmly. “I guess it’s time to return the favour.”

**Author's Note:**

> My brain threw this at me late last night so now you have to suffer it with me. Kudos, shares, and comments are all highly appreciated.


End file.
